I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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