You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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