if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
