I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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