if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
nutella sex= disaster
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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