The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
zippers are such a cool invention
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
