Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ttmmvvxox hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

Fav 29 10387 1244
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

Fav 27 5706 2860
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

Fav 8 1528 3840
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

Fav 12 7721 1271
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

Fav 19 1348 3969
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better

Fav 3 2760 946
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

next time we drink: battle shots.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

Fav 9 1375 881
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

Fav 5 645 1625
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?

Fav 0 551 406
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT