My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
