Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
