So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize