I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
