Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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