He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
