i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
