What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
