i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
