There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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