Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
