she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
