Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
