she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We talked him into tasing himself.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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