No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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