he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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