my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
