Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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