i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
