Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
