I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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