I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
