They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
