hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize