Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
