my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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