need another drink. this is the easiest way
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
