I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
