Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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