what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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