just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
