Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize