I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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