**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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