She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
