we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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