it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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