I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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