Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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