I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
