wake up i wanna do it froggy style
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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