.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
