i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
