i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
