I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
