weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
