Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have post one night stand depression
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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