He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
