I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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