Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
