I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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