His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
