That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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