I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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