What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
